Love, Beauty And Character


–Remi Oyeyemi

Akin was always very proud of his wife, Busola, called “Bussy” by many of her friends. It was love at first sight when they met each other, in an unplanned and unexpected circumstances.

Akin was magnetised by the beauty of Bussy.
On the day they met, Bussy was dressed in a buba and Ìró sewn with a magnificent baby lace that metastasized her natural beauty. Light in complexion, her figure eight would make any man delirious. Her smile, was bewitching and her voice very velvety and sonorously simmering. Her stepping, so majestic and regal that it would tempt a stone to want to have her.

So, it could be understood how Akin became so enamoured of her and fell in love with her right away. That searing love, was so powerful that it was impossible for Akin to pay attention to the shortcomings in Bussy’s character during their dating. Where some flaws were sélf-evident, Akin over looked it. Where they were pointed out, Akin was unwilling to acknowledge and accept.

To Akin, Bussy could do no wrong. Anyone that antagonized Bussy became instant enemy. Family members, immediate or extended, knew that to be in Akin’s good book, you have to be friendly with Bussy. The beauty of Bussy impressed not quite a few, but her character or manners left many in quandary.

Many of Akin’s siblings who knew him with other ladies he dated before meeting Bussy could not believe what they were witnessing. Akin ceded total control to Bussy. Bussy called the shots. She was respectful to all the elderly but with tinges of insouciance. She scared all the siblings who whispered around that their brother, Akin, had eaten the proverbial “vegetable.” Often amongst themselves, the mantra was “Bòòdá Akin ti j’èfó.”

Akin was a favourite of almost everybody in the family, immediate and extended. Both the young and the hold loved him. Even those who did not love him pretended that they did. As a result, no one wanted to offend him. They accepted and lived with all Bussy’s idiosyncrasies and their displeasures reduced to back-ended whispers.

A lot of putrid things happened between Akin and Bussy which Akin could not put out. He hid things from friends and family members that could suggest that Bussy was a terrible person. He would go out of his way to polish his wife’s image to make her look good and acceptable to others. He would defend her against any form of criticism aimed at her either directly or indirectly. He stood up for her, right or wrong.

The manner and ways that Bussy carried herself reinforced sense of intimidation among Akin’s family members. She exuded an aura of class and dignity. And pride. Without her having to say it, her demeanor made sure that the vibes were perfectly received and understood. The message was loud and clear that she was in her own class and would not tolerate any attempt to trespass by and from anybody. Few among Akin’s family actually admired her for that, but many despise her for it. Akin was always very proud of his wife and never hid it.

Akin was forced to apply brakes when Bussy took up his mother. Akin was very clear to Bussy and told her this was a no go area under any circumstance. He warned Bussy to either find a way to accommodate his mother or be prepared to end the marriage. He secretly appealed to his mother to cooperate with Bussy. His mother obliged. Bussy retreated. Both mother and daughter-in -law became good friends in a very tempestuous way.

Over a period of thirty years of their marriage, Akin and Bussy have had financial success. That had four children, two boys and two girls. Akinwumi, 29; Dolapo, 26; Akintunde, 20 and Folusho, 17. Their financial success has not mitigated some of Bussy’s negative behaviors that Akin was hoping would dissipate as they grew older and be more successful.

Bussy has become very arrogant and condescending to everyone. She inflicted emotional and verbal abuse on Akin. She would nag him day and night. She would insult him and disrespect him in the presence of friends and acquaintances. At a time, Akin was hard pressed with cash, she made him a butt of jokes in the house. She even told Akin that after several decades of conjugal relationship, she never benefitted anything from the relationship.

Akin has become very frustrated about the behaviors of Bussy. But he still loves her and seemed unable to break loose from her. Akin has been suffering in silence and not many was aware. Only few close friends knew what he was going through. Bussy’s external beauty has become a veritable veneer for her arrogance, putrid pride, cruelty and wickedness to her husband. Her regular attendance at the Church has confused a lot of those privy to the issues in Akin and Bussy’s marriage.